My Boyfriend is Gay: Ragashanti

I was listening to Ragashanti this morning, and I was fortunate enough fi kech the conversation just when a woman called to talk about her experience with someone on the DL. Her story was quite moving, especially at the climax when she catches her boyfriend having sex with his best friend. She wept as she remembered the ordeal. Her story is very typical: woman loves man dearly. Believes with her heart man is faithful to her and committed to lifelong relationship. They have a child. Woman comes home and hears man having sex with someone. Opens door and is shocked to find him with his best friend. Man cries that he is not really gay. Man emphasized that he is the top- as she witnessed. Woman is embarrassed, and feels inadequate. Woman leaves man.

In this story though, the plot thickened. The man seems to have stayed with his boyfriend, who died two years after the incident- from AIDS. The man calls the woman to inform her of his misfortune- losing a loved one- and begs her forgiveness. Even more, he also has AIDS and has no one else to turn to... He begs her fi tek im bak. This woman, having a heart of gold, decides to take him back and care for him. I salute her courage and kindness.

Raga then went on a rampage about the despicable act of gay men dating women, for the reason that the deceit inherent in such action is most selfish. I agree. He clarified that people who are gay will always be gay, and that the idea that we can convert gay people should be scrapped. Thank you Raga. I was still somewhat disappointed with his evaluation of the situation, however. Surely it is understandable that gay men in Jamaica will enter into heterosexual unions to deflect questions regarding their (homo)sexuality. It is not excusable behavior, because people get hurt, but it is clear that the homophobic situation in Jamaica dictates that such eventualities will be commonplace. I would have liked him to acknowledge this reality.

Cheating is bad, no matter the sexual exploits of the cheater. Deceiving a partner in such a malicious way should be frowned upon no matter the circumstances. I can now imagine that many are saying, "A so battyman carry AIDS come ina people house all the time." And if that is all we can learn from this woman's experience, then we learnt very little. I am still glad she was brave enough to share her story with Jamaica this morning. While it is true that it portrayed gay men very negatively, we are no longer invisible.