A Mother Always Knows Best...

Almost a month since my last post, and so much has changed! Last Friday was one of those days when all the hatred against gays in the world became apparent to me. I was weak, and vulnerable, and I wanted to find someone to talk with, someone who could understand. But for that one moment in my life, nobody was around. So, I called mommy. She immediately asked me what was wrong, and then the tears started to flow. I started to weep, and my mother tried to console me.

You would never believe the things she said to me:

Honey I love you, and your siblings love you. It shouldn't matter how other people perceive you, because you must understand that people will not always affirm your sense of self. If I, your mother, can accept you for who you are, then I don't see why others cannot. Just be yourself, and do what makes you happy.

I was her baby again, and not some gay thing that happened into her life. I expected her to come around sometime, but never so soon. Now, my heart is at peace.

Here at school I am making headway into the LGBT community. Last year, I didn't have the courage to go to Coming Out Stories, and present myself as a gay man, but this time around I was. I listened as students, males and females, black and white, shared aspects of ther coming out stories with about 40 people. I had to tell my story. I raised my hand and started to talk, just after hearing a freshman female reiterate that "chicks are so hot!" People listened. And they smiled at times, and stared intently when they were supposed to. The snapped rhythmically when I ended with my mother's dramatic turnaround. How sweet it is to be able to speak so openly about my sexuality. Not having to consider who is in the room listening. Not having to look over my shoulders. Not having to feel self-conscious. Bliss.

I am so lucky. I read the news reports of new considerations in parliament to put a clause institutionalizing homophobia and discrimination into the Charter of Rights Bill. The possibility of same sex marriages in Jamaica is so far fetched at this point, that debates about prohibiting it are senseless. We should be discussing that question at a time when it is more pertinent, but, this is Jamaica for you, where every effort to distract people's attention from the inefficiencies of the government is maximized. A year ago I would have been outraged at this development. Today I am just concerned. I don't have the strength to persuade all the ignorant people in my country that I am deserving of basic rights of freedom and equality. I am but a vagabond, scrimmaging on the fringes of Jamaican society waiting for a break.

If only they knew.

The Gay "Lifestyle"

I think it is time we retire the use of the term "lifestyle" in regards to gays and lesbians. People never talk about the "heterosexual lifestyle". True, because it is the norm, but also, it's ridiculous to consider someone's sexuality as a mere "lifestyle" choice (Well, if you are aware that people don't choose their sexualities). I decide to lead a healthy lifestyle today. And hey, why not throw in a "homosexual lifestyle" too!

Many people are hung up about homosexuality because of they are disgusted by anal sex. So the lifestyle you speak of, I am assuming, is the men-screwing-men lifestyle. Well suppose I only like to cuddle, caress and kiss my men, am I still living the "homosexual lifestyle"? And what if I only do it once a year? Still a lifestyle?

If you are gay or lesbian consider what it means when you use this term. Too often, we forget that language shapes perceptions! I don't think it helps for gays to talk about the "homosexual lifestyle". I have a wonderful family; I go to school; I have amazing friends; I volunteer. My gay lifestyle? It doesn't really fit in there. I am attracted to men. It's not as active a phenomenon as the word "lifestyle" may lead one to believe.

If you find yourself using the same language as homophobes to describe your sexuality, then maybe, just maybe, you are hurting your own cause. I wish the media would stop using this term, which I believe greatly influences people's belief in the mutability of (homo)sexuality. 

Documentary: For the Bible Tells Me So

Can religious belief and homosexuality be reconciled? Without a doubt one of the most moving films I have ever watched- but then again, I am biased, so you decide. I recently bought a copy of the DVD for my mother.

I Am Your (Gay) Child

I have read with interests the diversity of perspectives on Earnest Smith’s incendiary claims that homosexuals are "abusive (and) violent", among other unsubstantiated declarations. His statements did not surprise me, as such ridiculous postulations are a commonplace in Jamaica. Again, another government MP’s has revealed himself for who he is: a bigoted, misinformed ignoramus who has no place in the parliament of a progressive democracy.

People often say of homosexuals: “we don’t want them here!” or “OutRage and other foreign gay right organizations cannot force their nastiness on our Christian nation!” What many of these people fail to see however, is that there are many homosexuals here in Jamaica, though you wouldn’t know any, because you threaten to kill whichever one is “brazen” enough to profess their sexuality. While I understand that most people do not support homosexuality, it is important for people to develop the understanding that as citizens of Jamaica, homosexuals deserve to be treated as such- that is, guaranteed protection under the law. Today, they are treated like second class citizens, whose opinions are invalidated because the majority disagrees with the gender of the individual they choose to love.

How brazen they have become, yes. Brazen because they are tired of living lives shrouded in secrecy and shame; tired of fearing that they may lose their lives, when one day, someone shouts out, “a fish dat”; tired of being silenced by puritanical evangelists who fail to recognize the diversity of moral perspectives present in our society . We must stop dictating morality to people, for few of us who lambast homosexuals are paragons of virtue and holiness. If you think homosexuality is immoral, then I would hope that you never engage in homoerotic activity; but how callous, and unchristianlike you are in your violent efforts to conform ‘moral deviants’.

I was nurtured in your womb, and am now working to positively contribute to the development of our nation. I am a Jamaican. I am your child...but you wish me dead.