Coming Out On Facebook

A few years ago when I opened my facebook account I opted to leave the "Interested In" field blank. I wasn't ready to tell the world that I was gay, and I wasn't going to lie that I loved women. One day after coming out to a friend she revealed that she always guessed I must have been gay, because I left the aforementioned field blank. She opined that no 'normal' Jamaican man would give up an opportunity to tell the world that he loves 'pum pum', if it were true... and also, that the fact of leaving it blank suggests that I thought about what it might mean, knowing fully well that it would raise speculations about my sexuality. She was right. 

Most straight people include this information in their profiles, even though one would already assume they are heterosexual. It never crosses their minds that the decision to complete this field might be troubling for some (facebook does a similar thing for gender that I dislike, having only two possible fields: "male" or "female"). 

So the reality for gay or lesbian Jamaicans is grim; damned if they do and damned if they don't. It is completely understandable that many choose to lie by saying they are interested in the opposite sex. 

I envy straight people for the ease with which they can declare their sexualities. Since I like to push boundaries I do the same, but I am sure my decision will not be without consequences. However, this is something that I have to do. The more we hide our sexuality, the uglier and scarier it becomes to us and others. Every time I saw the blank field I was reminded that I lived in fear. I worried about what people I cared nothing for would say, or who they would tell. It was a constant reminder of the shame I should feel for simply being a gay Jamaican. I refuse to continue living like that. 

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss

Gay Men Policing Heterosexuality in Jamaica

As always, the architects of the proverbial closet subjugate his mind and provide him with the tools needed to perpetuate the suppression of his fundamental instincts, and those of others, effectively elevating lowly "slaves" to the position of "slave-drivers". It provides for effective social control.

We hate ourselves, because we have been conditioned to consider who we are as evil. I can't remember if I shared this with you before, but it's relevant to this post so here goes. A few months ago I met my school's LGBT advisor for a conversation, along with one guy from Morocco, and the other from Connecticut. The American noted how interesting it was to meet gay men from other countries, for he had never thought of them before. I then said to him that we might be from very different places but our experiences trying to negotiate socio-cultural spaces that marginalize us is the same, albeit to different extents. He disagreed. He said, "my coming out was actually quite easy. I told my parents, they said okay, and that was that." 

I on the other hand struggled for years to get to the place where I am now. I never doubted that I loved men, or that I was gay when I discovered that people in the world identified as "gay" and led quite normal lives, but I fought hard to understand why society was so hostile towards the idea of someone like me. Many gay Jamaican men don't quite get to the stage where they question the validity of their cultural paradigm. Instead, they continue to hate themselves, constantly wishing the gay away, hoping to meet the woman who will sweep them off their feet. Some of the most robust rejections of my being gay have come from Jamaican men struggling with their sexualities. But, I understand extremely well the factors that give rise to this kind of self-loathing and oftentimes outright rejection of the notion of a gay identity. It makes perfect sense that we have internalized the homophobia of our society, and interesting how one is given the tools to perpetuate his own oppression and that of others. 

We must learn to love ourselves. We must erase every thought we've ever had that the attraction we feel is dirty, or evil. We will have to ignore every hurtful word people hurl at us when they question our masculinities. None of this is easy, but we must not hesitate to begin peeling away the layers of shame and guilt in which our Jamaican upbringing has encrusted us. The slave drivers were better regarded by their masters, but we gain nothing from perpetuating hatred and fear against our own. 

Live. Let-Live. Love. 

Patwa Kaana: Di Graas Griina fi Chuu, Bot...

Dem se di graas aalwiez luk griina pan di neda said. A chuu. Wen mi likl mi yuuz tu driim bout plies laka Frans an chos mi, di rialiti no mach-op so porfek at aal. Bot i mek sens stil, kaa wen yu no yuus tu a sertn ting we siim fi de somwe els, yu mos staat fantasaiz bout di somwe els. A jos so man mek. Bot aal di chrabl mi a chrabl, mi kyaahn siim fi sekl nowe. Mi naa se di graas no griin griin pan fimi said fi chuu ino, kaa chos mi i griin, bot aal di ruol mi a ruol ina di bam graas a bie krach mi kin a krach mi.

Wan a di ting dem we mi kyaahn andastan a ou kom no mata we mi go gie man afi yuuz websait an chatruum fi miit dem wananeda.

Waa gwaan. Yu gaa mi skuul no?

Ye…waa yu stats.

We yu miin?

Blak ar wait. Ou taal/shaat. Ud lent. Kot ar ankot. Tap ar Batam. Fies picha.

Amm, yaa juok rait. Nuo? Taak tu yu lieta den.

Ina Jumieka mi kyahn andastan, kaaz a no laik se yu kyahn jos waak op tu wahn man we yu laik, an fi nuo bout di paati dem yu afi nuo smadi uu nuo smadi uu gie- evribadi naav dat de logzri de. Nou wa mek ina Kianada, Merika an Frans a di siem ting mi a si? Evribadi a aid baka dem laptap. Everibadi jraa dong uu dem bi tu kopl suupafishal statistik and puoz op demself fi ii-shii-an-di-uol-liedi. (Big op if yu pruofail picha a wahn picha a yu bodi!!). An den mi tink, ef gie man kyaahn miit dem wananeda fies tu fies ina wahn konchri we dem av raits an protekshan, a we mi kuda riili ekspek fi apn ina Jumieka?

Mi taak aal di wail se mi ago bi selibet, an piipl no biliiv mi, bot mi jos kyaahn andastan wa mek wi lou piipl fi ron wi main so. Mi a di fos smadi fi tel yu se kolcha a wahn powaful sinting, bot nuo man, piipl kyaahna mek siek a kolcha dem liv di wuola dem laif widout lov, an widout di fiilin se dem uola- se notn no rang wid dem. Muo taim mi afi aaks miself ef a mi wan si laif disya wie kaa muos a di res a gie man dem uu mi kom kraas luk kwait kantent wid dem laif ina di shado. (Mi naa taak bout piipl ina Jumieka, kaa mi no ekspek se piipl ago git op an ris dehn laif fi "lov"). Ef smadi liv ina wahn sosaiyati we kliem se i naav notn gens gie man, ou kom sumoch piipl stil afi a aid baka kompyuuta pruofail!

Piipl aalwiez taak se gie man lov seks muo dahn aadineri, an mi aalwiez riizn se i mek likl sens kaa piipl no av di chaans nof taim fi miit an bil rilieshanship so wen dem du miit, ataklaps mos apn ina di bedruum! Bot no tel mi se wi kyaahn muuv paas disya setop ya, we get papyula jos kaa a wehn di siefis wie fi miit piipl. Tingz likl difrent nou man!

I luk tu mi se nof piipl stil no riili komfatebl wid demself. Mi andastan likl stil. Miebi di ting we a bada mi di muos a se mi wehn imajin se tingz uda nof-nof difrent. Bot eniwie, yu si chuu mi kyaahn tek no jraama, mi ago tan faar fran dem saiba piipl de, kaa wen yu tingk bout i siirios, tu dem yu a jos smadi fi ad tu di stak ina dem rampin shap. Afta di ak dem tuu shiem fi bil notn siirios we gwaihn fuos dem fi kanfront di fak se dem lov man.

So dis a wahn riil dailema. Mi figa se man tu man websait a fi piipl uu no riili av fimi andastandin bout seksualiti, an mi an dem naago grii, bot pan di neda an, anles a mi wan tan de wie ya (a kyaahn so!), mi no nuo we fi fain di ada man dem. Di graas mait griina pan di neda said, bot graas afi gruo ina dort, an a bie worm mi si a rigl chuu evriwe mi go.

Ragashanti Interviews 'Male Cross-Dresser'

I find the content of this interview quite objectionable, because Raga’s analysis is characterized by misunderstandings, and ignorance about human sexuality and gender identity. Sadly, she too supports the anachronistic gender binary, which renders people like her invisible.

Ragashanti ignorantly refers to her as being “gay” numerous times, as if to suggest that gay men typically cross-dress. This is a fallacy. Being effeminate does not equate to being a woman, and even so, many gay men are not effeminate. Therein lies a popular misperception that Ragahanti uses the interview to perpetuate. His insistence that she is not a woman is ridiculous, but understandable, since it is common knowledge that most Jamaicans conflate genitalia with gender identity. A baby with a penis is male, which means he must like trucks and the colour blue, and he will be attracted to girls. This reductionist model of human sexuality and gender fuels our belligerent reaction to gender non-conformists.

What does it mean to be male or female? When we meet people, we assume their gender based on their gender presentation- clothing being the most significant gender marker. It is improbable, that you would ask someone if they have the genitalia to match their gender presentation. This woman clearly has a feminine gender presentation, and has genuine interest in undergoing gender reassignment surgery. If the genitalia of all your friends whose genitalia you have not yet seen is insignificant to your understanding of their gender, then it shouldn’t be used to disqualify this woman’s claim that she is a woman.

Ragashanti expresses his desire for her to stop “deceiving” people. Gender is not something you turn off or on at will; it is inherent to your being. It is unfair to expect that this woman should conform to unrealistic gender norms that do not reflect the way she identifies herself. Deception is unavoidable in this situation, because she cannot speak truthfully about her gender without realistically fearing that she might be on the receiving end of vigilante justice. And for what? Many Jamaicans do not fit into the binary model of gender and sexuality. This may be hard to imagine, but males do not always have a penis, and having a penis does not necessarily indicate that someone is attracted to women. The sky will not fall, and the world will not end with the acknowledgement of this truth.

The Gleaner on 'The Jamaican Gay Issue'

Does this venerable newspaper have an opinion on the 'homosexual issue'? Oftentimes, it publishes editorials slamming politicians and vigilante groups for perpetuating hatred, and using wanton violence against homosexuals. Other times, its pages are filled with poorly argued, homophobic rants without any disclaimer. The Flair this week includes an article entitled 'The Jamaican gay issue'. This inflammatory piece argues that violence against a minority group is acceptable when it is culturally sanctioned, and that crimes against gay men should not be taken seriously, because in all likelihood, the person was killed by their violence-prone lover.

Firstly, how is it logical to compare someone's choice to play cricket or baseball with their sexuality? The analogy is weak, when one considers that sexuality is an immutable human characteristic, and that homosexuality exists in every strata within every culture. When a country's laws and cultural practices sanction violence against a group of its people who have historically been marginalized, then I understand that foreign organizations will be moved to counsel us. Jamaicans are being hurt everyday- if not by physical violence, by feelings of guilt and shame about something that is normal. They feel that they do not belong in the country of their birth, and fear that mob murder is inevitable and imminent. Had the writer been the parent of a gay or lesbian child, I am sure s/he wouldn't support the status quo so vigorously. The world didn't stand by and wait during Apartheid, assuming that it was culturally acceptable to marginalize Black South Africans, so it'll have to wait till things change from within. People everywhere are able to identify injustice (or their perceptions of injustice) and will speak out against it in whatever capacity possible.

The writer ignorantly declares that foreigners should keep their baseball and allow Jamaicans to play their cricket. But, acknowledging someone's right to 'play baseball' has nothing to do with what game everyone else plays. To borrow from the weak analogy, why can't we play baseball and cricket in Jamaica, as we already are, albeit covertly? What s/he, and many others, fails to recognize is that there are thousands of gay men in Jamaica. This class of individuals does not have a powerful voice, and foreign groups have stepped in to help, so that this disenfranchised class can be acknowledged and one day guaranteed the rights that are offered to all Jamaican citizens, freedom from persecution and protection from the state. In the same way that it took great pressure from international organizations and nation states to overcome apartheid in South Africa, it might take a similar effort to dismantle the foundations of anti-gay rhetoric and action that flourishes on the island, and around the world. Cultural imperialism? Absolutely. Some things are just wrong. I accept that people can believe that homosexuality is sinful, but it cannot be okay to advocate for violence against a group of people.

Lastly, The Soloist supports the misconception that homosexuals are more violent than heterosexuals. This cannot be proved empirically, and belief in this libelous statement justifies police and government inaction in times when the rights of gay Jamaicans are being infringed. Typically, many have considered gay men only when they are casualties of homicide, or mob murder, so it is reasonable that they characterize gay men as jealous, violence-prone maniacs, or cross dressing, limp-wristed pseudo females- but these are stereotypes, and should be regarded as such. I do not doubt that there are gay men who were murdered by their lovers, but I will trust that the axe wielding lover is a minority, akin to their heterosexual counterparts, until I see evidence to the contrary. There has to be a rational voice in any discussion of homosexuality. The Soloist's published article gives credence to parochial propaganda. Through publishing this unsophisticated opinion piece, the Gleaner actively retrogresses from the advances it has made championing equal rights for all Jamaicans.

A Mother Always Knows Best...

Almost a month since my last post, and so much has changed! Last Friday was one of those days when all the hatred against gays in the world became apparent to me. I was weak, and vulnerable, and I wanted to find someone to talk with, someone who could understand. But for that one moment in my life, nobody was around. So, I called mommy. She immediately asked me what was wrong, and then the tears started to flow. I started to weep, and my mother tried to console me.

You would never believe the things she said to me:

Honey I love you, and your siblings love you. It shouldn't matter how other people perceive you, because you must understand that people will not always affirm your sense of self. If I, your mother, can accept you for who you are, then I don't see why others cannot. Just be yourself, and do what makes you happy.

I was her baby again, and not some gay thing that happened into her life. I expected her to come around sometime, but never so soon. Now, my heart is at peace.

Here at school I am making headway into the LGBT community. Last year, I didn't have the courage to go to Coming Out Stories, and present myself as a gay man, but this time around I was. I listened as students, males and females, black and white, shared aspects of ther coming out stories with about 40 people. I had to tell my story. I raised my hand and started to talk, just after hearing a freshman female reiterate that "chicks are so hot!" People listened. And they smiled at times, and stared intently when they were supposed to. The snapped rhythmically when I ended with my mother's dramatic turnaround. How sweet it is to be able to speak so openly about my sexuality. Not having to consider who is in the room listening. Not having to look over my shoulders. Not having to feel self-conscious. Bliss.

I am so lucky. I read the news reports of new considerations in parliament to put a clause institutionalizing homophobia and discrimination into the Charter of Rights Bill. The possibility of same sex marriages in Jamaica is so far fetched at this point, that debates about prohibiting it are senseless. We should be discussing that question at a time when it is more pertinent, but, this is Jamaica for you, where every effort to distract people's attention from the inefficiencies of the government is maximized. A year ago I would have been outraged at this development. Today I am just concerned. I don't have the strength to persuade all the ignorant people in my country that I am deserving of basic rights of freedom and equality. I am but a vagabond, scrimmaging on the fringes of Jamaican society waiting for a break.

If only they knew.

Gay in Kingston, Jamaica

I spent a few days in Kingston, and what a blast it was! I identified more gay men in Kingston in three days, than all my life in rural Jamaica. I stepped off the bus from my parish, and my mentality changed. I wasn't alone; I knew it. Before long, my vision of urban utopia was jarred when a group of young men spoke loudly, just after passing them, that I am surely a homosexual. I continued on my merry way, as I don't yet have the courage to stare homophobes in their eyes and actively acknowledge their hateful words.

Besides seeing many gay men walk by me in the streets, I spent some quality time with two gay friends of mine. One of them shares an apartment with another gay guy, who had two gay friends over. My friend's boyfriend had also planned to visit. 5 Jamaican gay men sharing the same space. I was too excited! It is different in America, because the experience that gay men have coming to terms with their sexualities is so diverse. Here though, I feel such empathy for my gay brothers, because I am fully aware of what each of us must face each time we leave the comfort of our homes and walk into the public sphere. It was nice to see gay men fraternizing, completely at ease and comfortable with themselves.

The day I returned home, I sat in a mall reading a book when a handsome young man, who I believed was gay, walked by me. I couldn't help but stare. Not long after, I followed in his direction, as I had to head to the bus stop. I walked by him, as he stood near the staircase with two other friends. As I passed, one of them hissed, "gunshot for a boy." I shook my head, mystified. How could a gay man say such ugly words to another? Both of us have to live in the same fucked up world, and perpetuating homo-hatred will do nothing to serve our best interests. I was very tempted to turn around and stare into his eyes this time, but alas, the thought came too late.

I can definitely see myself spending more time in Kingston. It's the most "real" I will ever be in Jamaica. It's the only place i've been able to gain some anonymity. I guess anonymity is an important factor to living without constant fear for the worse.

____________

I came out to my mother last week. It didn't go too well. More on that soon.

Jamaican Bisexuals

A few years ago, one of my brother's old classmates (4 years ahead) told me he wanted to be with me. This came as quite a shock, because I never dreamed he was gay, and further, he could remember things I did, or said, in high school of which I had no recollection. Creepy? Yes. We haven't spoken frequently since then, but when I came back he made an effort to reach out to me,

I am not interested. Never was, never will be. Like many gay men in Jamaica, he is in a relationship with a woman; most of the 'gays' I meet identify as bisexual (or in order to avoid labeling themselves gay, they tell me they love people- I used that one once too). I have nothing against bisexuals, for I have met a few "true" ones in my short life. I labelled myself bisexual once too, just after I turned 17 and was coming out to myself. I met a few bisexuals then too :) After a couple of years, we spoke again and confirmed that we were now homosexual (gays and lesbians). You see, the term bisexual is much more palatable to a heterosexist/homophobic populace, than the term gay. You know it, and I know it.

However, bisexuality seems to serve a different function for Jamaican gay men. It has to be their way of life. Not their sexuality, but their way of life (And this is what we call a lifestyle!!!). This guy admitted to me that he loves the girl he is now with, but is largely attracted to guys. He will never leave her, he says. So it is imperative that she knows his boyfriend, and that his partners are comfortable with each other. "The family that has sex together stays together," he assured me. (he he he) By this time in the conversation I was about to explode- and not in the good way. He tells me, "she will want to watch us, and if she likes you she might participate. Participate? Excuse me!

We talked about human sexuality for a while, and I told him I was gay. To my surprise, I was asked if I was totally that way- whatever does he mean? "You've never fucked a woman?" No, I have not and will not. "You aren't even the least bit attracted to women?" No, I am not. "So, couldn't you just like stick your dick in a hole and pop?" No, I cannot. And why would I ever need to? I don't put myself in awkward situations where such eventualities may arise! And how dare you describe a woman's vagina as "a hole"!

But then it all made sense to me.

This boy doesn't love women! He likes saving his ass from speculation about his sexuality. And let's be real now, what better way is there to do so (well, aside from getting a kid). His bisexuality is his survival mechanism, not his sexuality. I understand fully why this must be so, but I am also gravely disappointed- I don't know why. So many gays in Jamaica pass as straight- we need to survive now, so fair enough- but doing so requires that they lie about themselves and lead lives that I consider would be less fulfilling (I may be wrong, because everyone desires different things in life). But then I ask, If we don't stand up for ourselves, who will? I'm not suggesting that anyone start a one man campaign against homophobia, but the solution can't be to just wear a mask and pretend to not be affected by prejudice and fear of gay men.

I will never enter into a three person relationship just so you can be protected from the 'shame and guilt' I am supposed to endure for being gay. You see, when you have a girlfriend you can always say, "Mi ano really batiman, a jos try mi did a try somting...si mi av mi gyal ya." That makes me very uneasy. I'll have to think about this some more. 

Billy Elliot

Even though I haven't been updating this blog recently, I have still been writing. I just managed to make three different posts. I swear, the motivation to write disappears when one loses access to the internet.

But, finally...

I just saw the film Billy Elliot, for the millionth time. Have you seen it? It is such an amazing movie! Aside from me finding some difficulty understanding the accents of the actors, the themes explored in the film resonate well with me- for obvious reasons. I look forward to the time when my family will be proud to see me in whatever capacity I find myself, as an openly gay man.

I find myself watching and re-watching films with gay themes recently. It's My Party, Prayers for Bobby, For the Bible Tells Me So, Boys Don't Cry, Milk, Noah's Arc- Jumping the Broom. I lived without representations of queer culture and people for such a long time, that I revel in my newfound collection of timeless films that inspire me to be proud of my sexuality. I once thought it was my greatest burden, but it is now turning into one of my strengths.

Older Gay Men...

So last summer, I met an older gay man in the streets while walking home one night. I spent the day with my old classmates at the beach, then left for home at around 10 pm. While walking, an older gentleman came up to me and asked if he had met me before. I said no, but he continued. "Are you sure? Which high school did you go to?" I was too naive at the time to realize that this was his conversation starter. He told me he was a primary school teacher in Brown's Town, and I tried my best to appear interested by asking him questions about his job, and the education system in general. He asked if I would like to sit somewhere and talk. Despite being really tired, the conversationalist in me said, "sure."

Things got awkward the moment we sat down, because he started to get a little personal. Not one to engage in conversation with random old-er guys, I wasn't sure if my present relationships, sexual history, and whereabouts in Jamaica, were standard talking points. He went on to reveal that he had seen me a week earlier, standing with a woman he guessed was my mother. Good guess. He had wanted to approach me then, but wasn't sure who the woman was. Since then, he had been keeping an eye out for me. Creepy? Yea, just a little bit.

It got creepier when he said to me, "I have a hard-on, would you like to touch it?" Then he proceeded to describe his penis to me, and what he would do to me if I ever went home with him. I was not amused. I told him it was time for me to go home, but he beckoned me to stay, because surely I had a hard-on too. How highly he thinks of himself. You might wonder why I never left if I truly found the situation uncomfortable. This was the first time a man hit on me, so it was a novel experience I tried to savour, once he established that he was gay and that he liked me. He kept calling me, "my pretty little boy," which I found annoying, but I obliged him, because I too had an agenda.

"So what is it like being gay in Jamaica?" Of course, I understand what this means for me, but one- I do not live here, and two- I have no plans to get a boyfriend and settle in Jamaica. He went on to tell me how difficult it is. He says there are gays around, but hooking up is hard for him. He lives with his mom close to Ocho Rios and needs some company every now and again. "I can give you money," he offered.

After what seemed like an hour, I was adamant that I needed to go home, and so we left our public meeting place. While walking to the bus stop I assured him that I would be fine, and that he could be on his way. We exchanged formalities, then I crossed the street away from him, and went to buy a drink at a gas station. Lo and behold, I stepped out of the store to see him standing at the door. "I was a bit worried about you. I want to make sure you get home safely." Oh dear me! "Can I have some of your drink?" His smile hinted at some misplaced sexual innuendo. He must be kidding, I thought. Am I supposed to be happy he is concerned about me? "No, I will not share my drink with you." Sir, I am fine. I do not need to be walked to the bus stop. He insisted, and again, I gave in.

We stood awkwardly at the bus stop, while I waited. A taxi came soon, and we said our awkward goodbyes. I wouldn't see him again until another ill-fated day in Ochi. There are two roughly parallel main streets in Ocho Rios. If someone is in town, there is a very high chance you will bump into them. So I'm walking down the street and I see this man bustling up in my direction. My mind starts to race, and I resolve not to acknowledge him. Let's be honest, he's creepy. Just when I though he had passed without seeing me, I heard someone shout out just behind me, "HI!" I turned to face him- ina di middle a Ochi- then he said, "yu don't memba mi?" Holy Fuck this is awkward, I thought. I told him I was in a hurry, and needed to be on my way. I managed to avoid his eyes the entire time. Whew!

Another day, about a month later, I walked into Island Grill with my sister, and saw this man standing at the cashier. "Sis, that is him!" I looked away from the cashier, praying that he doesn't approach me. When he left she says to me, "Hey, he was staring at you the entire time." We went upstairs to eat, and as I looked out the windows, would you believe I saw the man looking in our direction from the second floor of a building adjacent to ours!!! Thank heavens I was with someone, for surely he wouldn't resist the urge to strike up another conversation.

I know the day will come when we must meet again; Jamaica is a small country, and Ocho Rios is a small town. I think I know what I must do to hold him off next time though, speak in Patwa. There is no greater turn off than to be dismissed in Patwa. English is far too polite to serve my purpose with this stalker.

Ever been stalked before? What's your story...

My Boyfriend is Gay: Ragashanti

I was listening to Ragashanti this morning, and I was fortunate enough fi kech the conversation just when a woman called to talk about her experience with someone on the DL. Her story was quite moving, especially at the climax when she catches her boyfriend having sex with his best friend. She wept as she remembered the ordeal. Her story is very typical: woman loves man dearly. Believes with her heart man is faithful to her and committed to lifelong relationship. They have a child. Woman comes home and hears man having sex with someone. Opens door and is shocked to find him with his best friend. Man cries that he is not really gay. Man emphasized that he is the top- as she witnessed. Woman is embarrassed, and feels inadequate. Woman leaves man.

In this story though, the plot thickened. The man seems to have stayed with his boyfriend, who died two years after the incident- from AIDS. The man calls the woman to inform her of his misfortune- losing a loved one- and begs her forgiveness. Even more, he also has AIDS and has no one else to turn to... He begs her fi tek im bak. This woman, having a heart of gold, decides to take him back and care for him. I salute her courage and kindness.

Raga then went on a rampage about the despicable act of gay men dating women, for the reason that the deceit inherent in such action is most selfish. I agree. He clarified that people who are gay will always be gay, and that the idea that we can convert gay people should be scrapped. Thank you Raga. I was still somewhat disappointed with his evaluation of the situation, however. Surely it is understandable that gay men in Jamaica will enter into heterosexual unions to deflect questions regarding their (homo)sexuality. It is not excusable behavior, because people get hurt, but it is clear that the homophobic situation in Jamaica dictates that such eventualities will be commonplace. I would have liked him to acknowledge this reality.

Cheating is bad, no matter the sexual exploits of the cheater. Deceiving a partner in such a malicious way should be frowned upon no matter the circumstances. I can now imagine that many are saying, "A so battyman carry AIDS come ina people house all the time." And if that is all we can learn from this woman's experience, then we learnt very little. I am still glad she was brave enough to share her story with Jamaica this morning. While it is true that it portrayed gay men very negatively, we are no longer invisible.

Staceyann Chin: The Other Side of Paradise

Yesterday I met an openly gay Jamaican woman, whose knack for comedy and messianic oration about her life in Jamaica, held the attention of some 90 students in a class on Adolescent Development. I was completely blown away by her ease of mind, and the frankness with which she discussed deeply personal and moving tales of abandonment, abuse, and ultimately liberation. I was proud to call myself Jamaican alongside her, and I look forward to meeting with her again sometime soon.

While listening to her read from her book, flashes of my own childhood came rushing back. I was so heartened by her ability to overcome the challenges she faced, while simultaneously reminding myself, that there was indeed a light at the end of the tunnel of despair that was my youth.

I asked her about her exile in America, and she spoke resolutely of having to LIVE, using her pasts to motivate her ambitions. She repeatedly reminded the audiences she spoke to not to pity her, because now she is living a good life. She said that it is somewhat hurtful to be forced to leave home on account of preserving one's safety. But she reminded me that it is a necessary choice that one must make, if they are to live happily.

I bought her new book, in which she signed the following words: "May our voices ring louder than our fears." A most germane reminder of the need for us to speak out against the injustices wrought upon our misunderstood brother/sisterhood.

Buy the book- it's worth every penny!
http://www.amazon.com/Other-Side-Paradise-Memoir/dp/0743292901

Day of Silence

*****************

What if it were SAFER to be SILENT?

Nearly 9 out of 10 LGBTQ students report verbal, sexual or physical harassment at school.

The Day of Silence is a national, student-led action to raise awareness of the discrimination, harassment, and abuse -- in effect, the SILENCING -- that lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people and their allies face daily. Join students on your college campus in creating safer schools for all, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.

TODAY, for part or whole of the day, take a VOW OF SILENCE

Think about the voices you are not hearing

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In Jamaica, innumerable young men are bullied by their peers, who constantly remind them of how "dem gwaan like gyal." These individuals have no one to turn to, for even their families are unsympathetic to their situations. Reform is but a necessary means to a heterosexual end. Because of this, Jamaican homosexual youth must learn to negate their identitties at a very young age, internalizing the homophobia that is a fixed part of their daily lives, and consequently hate themselves. I remember many effeminate boys while I was in high school, and I was empathetic towards their realities, for I knew they suffered as much as I did. Still, we never spoke of our mutual challenges. I now know one of those individuals to be gay, and he recently told me that he once thought of killing himself.

I though of suicide too- a permanent means to escape the hell into which I was born. Most disconcerting, was the fact that I never identified as a homosexual, I was just perceived to be one. I knew it wasn't an option in Jamaica, so I never thought of it... I was heterosexual, of course. Still, the taunts were worse than a plague of locusts, for they stung relentlessly, without seasonality. It was my life... I spent many lonely days by the beach, wishing I never had to retun home; wishing I never had to go back to school. Everyone knew me as the "girly boy", and no matter how hard I sought to shed that descriptor, it followed me always.

I look back on those times, and I remember the pain I felt everyday. Born with an affliction that I could never be rid of... that I could never seek counsel on. How many more Jamaican boys face such challenges? Surely, there is a boy out there like me, searching for answers as to why he was born into a world which does not respect him for who he is as an individual. The Jamaican Christian God has no answers.

For all you silenced Jamaican youth, today I commit to an hour of silence in your honour. You may not be able to speak out for yourself, but my heart screams out for you.

Documentary: For the Bible Tells Me So

Can religious belief and homosexuality be reconciled? Without a doubt one of the most moving films I have ever watched- but then again, I am biased, so you decide. I recently bought a copy of the DVD for my mother.

I Can't Have A Gay Friend

If you are a homosexual, it is not uncommon for people to express their disgust with your "choice" and demand an explanation for your "decision" to live immorally. I have had many such conversations, the last of which I would like to share with you.

There is only one Jamaican, (besides my sister and other homosexual men) who I have trusted enough to tell of my sexuality. He decided to inform me of how disgusted he is by my lifestyle, and the following is a conversation we had.

He says:

I contempleted should I send this msg or not................... but since u always seem to want to talk about it (despite my efforts not to)..........

I think homosexuality is, beyond a reasonable doubt, wrong and should not be encouraged!! It is disgusting, immoral and downright nasty and should be looked down upon!!!

I don't understand how someone (well...you) can think that it is 'okay' or should be 'accepted' or that nothing is wrong with it!!
Biblical teachings lash out against it!!
I understand that you might not have any religious affiliations..... but look at nature.... look at the natural order of things!! How can you sit there and tell me that nothing is wrong with a same sex relationships????
A man and a woman have intercourse....a baby result....(something productive)
gay or lesbian couple....nothing....(unproductive)....

I just can't see how you cannot see anything wrong with it and at the same time try to defend it!!

I might could sympathize with you if...for example......you were to say that you think it's wrong but u can't help but feel the way you do..... like the girl at my last job.............. but with you...... you just think it is right! It is normal! It is healthy! It should be legal! I heard that JLP is working on legislating that buggery...(if caught) equates to life sentence (which might be 25 years or actual life)...... and how Canada is going to withdraw from out tourism market should it become official... so what??? Canada only contributes like 2% there about to Toursim........... so I don't see why Canada behaving that way.... besides....what we choose to do in our country is our decision.......

To show you how disgusted I am with it.....a part of me wants to stop talking to you, doesn't want to be near you or even see you....
At the same time..... I'm thinking..... I've known you for so long, etc (all that sentimental crap).....
The latter part might supress the former part....but that still doesn't change the fact that it's still there.....
the next time someone avoids engaging in gay convos...... remember that there might be a possibility that the person doesn't want to offend you.....

Take what happened with [Natalie] for example............ maybe I should have followed her............ just not reply...

My response:

Note carefully, I am not angry…I am very calm, and all my messages should be read with that in mind. I am not looking to argue, for evidently you don’t value homophile arguments, and so pay little attention to the value in them.

Also, this is my last bid to get you to understand me- not agree with, but understand me. You said you don’t understand how someone could think there is nothing wrong with homosexuality---which is a huge slap in the face to me, having poured my heart out on this matter for months. Bot iz aarait.

In order to be as thorough as possible, I will respond to each of you claims chronologically. I will then end with an idea proposed by Jean Paul Sartre in his Etymology of Hate- The Antisemite and the Jew.

I don’t want to always talk about homosexuality. And further, choosing not to talk about it solves nothing. I’m done wasting my breath trying on futile arguments. This started again a few days ago when [Natalie] said it’s a good thing homosexuality is not accepted in Jamaica. I was put off by her statement, not because I am homosexual, but because I know, personally, how our disdain for homosexuals is manifested in society. I don’t think either of you read the statement I made afterwards…she said she still doesn’t condone homosexuality, and you said you agreed. Both of you completely missed the point. I don’t care if you think it’s immoral, that’s your business. No, I am not trying to gain your approval- I stopped trying to please people a looong time ago. But I wanted you both to consider the manifestation of Jamaican homophobia, that are eating away (that’s an understatement--- it a chaa chaa we) at our nation’s social fabric.

I will reproduce that message below--- and please, consider it as words from a humanist, not a homosexual. My sexuality does not define all my thought processes mind you.

_______________________
“The Jamaican culture is not open to "certain things"

But conspicuously, it is open to marginalizing the voice of iconoclasts and punishing violently anyone who dares challenge the patriarchy and heteronormativity which pervades the nation's psyche.

It is not open to certain things...and how wonderful that is...

for now those who suffer have no means of redress...no chance to live without fear...no chance to love... but that's okay because it is just them- as opposed to us, and our problems.

It amazes me sometimes how we can extricate ourselves from oppressive realities.

Jamaican homophobia is never a good thing. I was ridiculed everyday of my life for not being the ultra-masculine Jamaican we are supposed to be... I walk down the streets of Ocho Rios today and people shout, look at how he walks, him a wan a dem...and I wait...I wait for someone to suggest that I be beaten. Luckily that has not yet transpired... and for what? Because I don't walk and limp...and because I clearly spent too much time preening myself for people in Ocho Rios- real men don't do that.

One of my very good friends attempted to commit suicide...because he could stand being taunted about being gay...he never self identified as gay (no one in Jamaica does, or can for that matter)--- he was effeminate. And effeminacy is never a good thing...because everyone is the same...and everyone with a penis should behave the same...just as how everyone with a vagina needs to be able to wash, cook and clean, while raising the children to whom they gave birth. God forbid someone should try to challenge the constructed gender binary which has been normalized in Jamaican society.

It's easy to turn a blind eye to the heathens who populate the earth...but people are suffering, and that is never a good thing.

I'm not even talking about homosexuality...disagreeing with it is one thing, but Jthe manifestations of amaican homophobia are ridiculous. Effeminacy is not a vice...and it does not equate to homosexuality, yet people are made to feel inferior for it. Fathers don't hug their sons or tell them that they love them... people who experiment when younger, as most children do, are made to feel dirty...sexuality is natural- we seem to have forgotten that in our bid to demonize certain expressions of it.

These things bother me...

It is perfectly understandable that you do not "condone" homosexuality. (Condone? That sounds like a moral judgment, which I do not believe anyone has the jurisdiction to make. You don't believe in it, don't do it. Telling me that you don't believe in it, and then that I am immoral because I am it, are different things.”

So back to your first comment--- I do not like talking about homosexuality- clearly it’s a very divisive issue. But I feel compelled to defend those without a voice in Jamaica, who suffer for being thought to be gay---they aren’t even gay!!!!! I had no voice growing up…I lived trying to change…I never felt loved…or respected, and I hated my life…why? Because men shouldn’t act like girls. How can I not speak out on such issues? Instead you chastise me for standing up for gays, which is not what I was doing- and that was very clear…still you both decided to misconstrue what I said--- reducing the concerns I raised to, “you just want to defend your nasty ways.” Not true [Bryan].

Your next comment is particularly shocking, and hard to digest.

“I think homosexuality is, beyond a reasonable doubt, wrong and should not be encouraged!! It is disgusting, immoral and downright nasty and should be looked down upon!!!”

You qualified your first comment with “I think”; you should have done the same for the second. That is how YOU feel, and you are entitled to your opinion. I hasten to remind you however that your view is steeped in Christian morality, that some interpret very differently, and others don’t value at all. If by, “It should not be encouraged” you mean that people should be ridiculed, beaten, stabbed and murdered for being gay, as an example for everyone who dared flaunt such despicable behaviors, then [Bryan] I am really sorry you feel that way. If I’m lucky I’ll get a taste of what I am asking for when I go back- except, I wont be caught with a man---someone will just note how "mi look like wan a dem"…and mobilize a group of attackers to punish me for my shameless transgressions.

I never thought you were gay because you made gay jokes…that’s preposterous. That view is far too simplistic [Bryan]- an yu nuo mi beta dan dat. I always had an attraction for men growing up. I ignored it, because it was frowned upon…I liked girls, but then I didn’t have much of a choice. There is no alternative to heterosexual sex in Jamaica. (…and why should there be? Well….because there are people with homosexual inclinations, who end up getting married to women but then cheat on with men… not nice is it?) Looking back on my life, there were too men I knew well who endured similar experiences of being ridiculed for being effeminate…you and [Jack]. I am gay…[Jack] might be gay…and so I naturally though of you… not in a bid to "corrupt" your morality….not in a bid to convince you that it was morally right---for clearly you believe in God, and your branch of Christianity preaches that homosexuality is a sin…just like lying….just like fornication- which you seem a lot less concerned about decrying.

Next:

“I don't understand how someone (well...you) can think that it is 'okay' or should be 'accepted' or that nothing is wrong with it!! Biblical teachings lashes out against it!!”

[Bryan] why do you have to understand? This is how I feel, this is what I want….and no matter how nasty you think it is, that is my sexuality. I want you to love and accept me for who I am--- all of me, without judging my actions. I thought your bible had said that he who is without sin should cast the first stone. My sinless brother, you stopped casting stones a long time ago- a rak yaa fling now!

The bible lashes out against homosexuality, yes- but your Jesus also preaches love and acceptance--- is the sin of homosexuality so great that I don’t even deserve to be considered a fully functioning and valuable human being? The bible… our great upholder of patriarchy, and past defender of slavery. The bible clearly establishes that men are the head of households….men are the boss…yet such ideas would be laughed at in modern societies. One could never suggest that women are inferior to men in any way--- yet this is a deviation from biblical teachings…

If we were to follow everything that bible of yours says… this world would be a very different place. We would be stoning people in the streets for being gay (Which we do), cutting out the tongues of liars, and severing the hands of thieves. Who knows, maybe that’s a better society to live in. In any case the moral arguments you make against homosexuality simply do not hold up to intellectual scrutiny. It is evident that the few bible verses which mention homosexual conduct have been interpreted out of their context, in a bid to disenfranchise gays from societies, in satisfying your own bigoted view of sexuality and gender identity. You have been lied to by your religious teachers, and it is time you educate yourself further. I recommend the documentary "For the Bible tells me so".

"Then you continued “but look at nature.... look at the natural order of things!! How can you sit there and tell me that nothing is wrong with a same sex relationships????”"

Oh the old biological determinist view… animals aren’t gay and therefore humans shouldn’t be. First of all, even if there were homosexual tendencies in animals, it would be hard to observe it--- I haven’t done much research on this but I remember seeing male dogs humping each other---it happens!

Next, I don’t want to have babies! And you know what, the world doesn’t need anymore either. Homosexuals will not challenge or undermine the continuation of or species, because most people are straight…so what do you want me to do? Fuck a girl and get a baby? “Prove” my masculinity? Save our species from dying out? Same sex relationships are only seen as wrong because of our construction of heterosexual hegemony. In centuries gone by homosexuality was revered, and homosexuals were not stigmatized and demonized as they are now. I didn’t choose this [Bryan]…so even if there was something inherently wrong with homosexuality, there is nothing I could do about it---unless you’d rather see me lie to a woman and bring a child into the world. I’m not stupid! It is not easy to be a homosexual in our heteronormative societies…and if I could choose differently, I would. Trust me, I tried----for 18 years of my life. Just because most people are straight (which is suspect, because most people have no choice but to be “straight”- is not as if people are allowed to explore their sexualities) doesn’t mean everyone who is not is disgusting and immoral and wrong… That same premise was used to demonize and kill blacks…Jews… gypsies and countless other minority groups… we have grown past this majority is right mentality- except with homosexuals.

How could I sit here and defend homosexuality [Bryan]? Because I hate injustice…I hate hypocrisy…I hate discrimination…I hate neglect…I hate suffering.

"I might be able to sympathize with you if...for example......you were to say that you think it's wrong but u can't help but feel the way you do..... like the girl at my last job.............. but with you...... you just think it is right! It is normal! It is healthy!"

Don’t even try to empathize with me, because you cannot. You have no clue what it is to be part of a marginalized class, which must perpetually remain fearful of attack by people who disagree with your choices. You have no clue what it is like to wake up every morning asking why you were born in the wrong country…why no one understands you….why you cant be open about yourself to people you meet and why you have to grow distrustful of everyone you meet because they might be the one to tell of your secret and get you killed…for coming out only serves to further marginalize you…

You have NO clue about any of these things, because you are heterosexual…you are normal, ordinary, good…but I am a freak of nature, an immoral atheist who should be rid of his homosexuality at all costs. Ostracize him you say, for he will then learn his lesson and change for the better.

Don’t… I don’t need your pity…so end all efforts now…your empathy means nothing to me…because there still remains 6 billion people like you in the world who would rather I internalize all the hatred thrown at me, and start hating myself. I wont do that…I will not commit suicide, like may others before me, to escape the misery I was born in.

There is nothing wrong with me! Nothing! I do not think anything is wrong with homosexuality, and yes, I do not need to “help” the way I feel. I am not the coward at your last job who doesn’t have the strength to stand up against heterosexual hegemony- so your comparison is misplaced. How self affirming it must be to hear a gay person say they hate themselves---that the are ashamed of their feelings…that they want to change. Well you will never hear that from me. And still, despite what you are implying of me, I am normal [Bryan]. No less “normal” than you…

Now about the legality of homosexuality. You, like or government refuse to differentiate between legislation and morality. Our government is not there to declare what is morally right or wrong…they have no rights to make laws to govern what adults consent to doing in their bedrooms and the buggery law should not be there! Removing in would not mean that homosexuality is legalized…obviously….and it wouldn’t mean that more homosexuals would spring up from the immoral underbellies of our God fearing nation--- but it would remove this notion of second class citizenship, which is conferred upon anyone who is queer. Call the police because I am getting beaten…why? They’re just going to beat you too. Don’t even attempt to walk the streets of the country of your birth, because we will know you are gay, and we will kill you. Oh gee thanks! Tropical paradise this is indeed. The purpose of a government is to mandate laws that protect the interests of all its citizens! Unfortunately….I am not one of them.
And by the way you are mistaken about the amendment to the sex offenders bill being discussed in parliament now. (I read the print media every day so I follow these things keenly). They are seeking to effect that punishment for buggery when it is done in the context of abuse/ rape. I agree completely with that law. At least now the government has the guts to even mention male/ male sex in the law books--- the interests of men are now rising to the fore, albeit inadequately. So sorry to disappoint you, but I will still only be put in prison for 10 years if I am caught having sex with the love of my life.

Canada cares because people are suffering. It’s so amazing to hear you talk about how what we do in Jamaica is our business. We haven’t done a very good job of taking care of our business, because we talk about homosexuals as if they are foreigners looking to go to Jamaica to sun-tan on our wretched beaches. THERE ARE HOMOSEXUALS IN JAMAICA- and the civilized world is tired of seeing them living in fear…and being mutilated by the barbarous hands of ignorant Jamaicans! So repealing the law means more than just “bowing” to external pressure! It means that homosexuals in Jamaica will feel confident that there is redress of ever they are threatened by people who think like you! Is that too much to ask? Apparently…because we are not human.

Your short-sightedness is comical…. the rate of increase in American tourists to Jamaica isdecreasing… but Canadian tourism arrivals have been increasing. That occurrence has offset any dramatic dips in tourism arrivals as a result of the global economic crisis. Canada contributes more than just 2 % to tourism- almost 25 % now actually, and any serious policy by their government to decrease tourism to Jamaica, will have adverse effects. Oh but that is okay right? So long as Jamaica stands up for “morality” (I clearly have none)….so long as Jamaica continues to trample on the right of one marginalized group. That’s a dignified position to hold right there.

"To show you how disgusted I am of it.....a part of me wants to stop talking to you, doesn't want to be near you or even see you....At the same time..... I'm thinking..... I've known you for so long, etc (all that sentimental crap)....."

Sentimental crap? If our relationship means little to you, then stop fighting the urge [Bryan] if you so desire. It wouldn’t be the first, and it wouldn’t be the last time someone turned their back onme because they “couldn’t understand”. You are clearly crossing many of you moral boundaries to be my friend…and perhaps, as you have implied, it isn’t worth it. I never realized I could be that repulsive…

"the next time someone avoids engaging in gay convos...... remember that there might be a possibility that the person doesn't want to offend you....."

Or according to Jean Paul Sartre, they may just be afraid of being proven wrong. He argued very convincingly in his book about hatred, that the person who hates becomes consumed by his hate---he exudes his hate. He refuses to discuss why he hates, and as a matter of fact has hardened himself to arguing about his hatred. His mind becomes impervious, and he is affirmed in his beliefs. Way to take the high road bro. It’s not because you don’t want to offend me…because it is possible to argue about homosexuality without offending someone…without telling them you consider them to be disgusting (a feeling of revulsion or profound disapproval aroused by something unpleasant or offensive). I have discussions about this matter all the time…but it’s only when talking to people from home that these sentiments are expressed. Your inability to “understand” and “accept” me is offensive enough… so don’t worry about offending me.

Why can’t you see that it is possible to believe that something is immoral without casting dismissive judgements about someone, and hating them for it? I mean, if you think your homophobia justifies that you do not have anything to do with openly gay people, then that’s your decision to make. It is a decision that would break my heart, but I would live.

"Take what happened with [Natalie] for example............ maybe I should have followed [Natalie] ............ just not reply..."

She didn’t reply, and I was so disappointed. [Natalie] never said, Pikni I think it is morally wrong, but we should be careful not to judge, or encourage acts of violence against these individuals in Jamaica...

But she did remember to say- I do not condone homosexuality in any way shape or form--- just a reminder in case I forgot? Mi no nuo we unu tek mi fa.

When I pour my heart out on something…I hope for an equally heartfelt response. I wasn’t trying to defend homosexuality in that message, I was speaking out against violence, in any shape or form. Apparently, she disagreed.

I have heard your arguments…you have heard mine. Let it rest- please. I can’t do this anymore...and I don’t need to do this anymore. I am happy---truly happy for the first time in my life… I don’t have to go back home…I don’t have to listen to how immoral and sinful I am…I can finally start to live, and love, without fear.
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You know someone for 14 years, yet still it must come to this. Sad.

Virginity Testing? But of Course!

This morning I was reminded of Ernest Smith’s suggestion a few years ago that high-school girls be given virginity tests as a condition for readmission at the start of a school year. This has sent me reeling, as I had somehow missed that report when it was first reported. My immediate reaction was: How sexist! How demoralizing! How puritanical! I will disregard the proposal however, for it was made by an individual who notoriously talks through his ass, spewing shit at unsuspecting, and ignorant civilians.

Sex is everywhere. Humans have a built in time clock, which is dormant for the first decade of their lives, but that kicks into high gear throughout puberty- that odd time when hair starts growing in unseemly places, among other things. Adolescents are having their first sexual experiences at increasingly earlier age, which for me is alarming, because I understand well the pitfalls that they expose themselves to when they start having sex. Forget the psychological trauma, or the chastisement to me endured if anyone finds out... I am talking about pregnancies (the pregnancy isn’t even scary- it’s the thing that comes out crying at the end of the process) and diseases (some incurable).

I am reminded of sex education classes in primary school, in which the guidance counselor used various scare tactics to discourage sexual activity. I remember looking at blistered vaginas and penises covered in gaping wounds brought on by Sexually Transmitted Diseases. I was never reminded that these images depicted STD’s in their advanced stages, and that there were treatments available to cure said illnesses.

I was shown how to put on condoms on a banana, which surely helped me by the time I turned 16 and could actually fit a condom. But my thoughtful Guidance councilor forgot to mention that even if I was having sex, I wouldn’t have any of these available to me, for children were not supposed to be engaging in sexual activity in the first place or that they never made then in my size.

I learnt about sexual intercourse from a very young age. People who has sex got pregnant, and if they didn’t they would get nasty infections which produced sores all over one’s genitalia that festered into eternity. I shouldn’t have sex, but if I do I should wear an oversized latex contraption known as a condom...being careful to roll it on just the way she did it onto the banana. Most importantly however, I was never to forget that abstinence is the best safeguard against the inevitable pregnancy or malodorous infection. I would never have sex EVER

Now let me consider. Her efforts to dissuade those who had never had sex from doing so worked well. In all honesty, however, I doubt that I would have started having sex any earlier than I did, if I had been given a more accurate picture of what sex was and the possible ramifications of engaging in such activities. The more pertinent question is, what effect did her scare tactics have on those who were already more likely to start having sex at an early age, or who were already engaging in sexual activities? It’s hard to tell, but my intuition tells me abstinence/ ‘ignorance based’ education is not very effective.

In a hyper-sexualized society like Jamaica’s there will always be a significant number of adolescents who decide, or are persuaded, to engage in sexual activities. Does it not make sense to truthfully educate students as to the real chances of getting pregnant (which are slimmer than we were warned), contracting infections, (slim to nothing if condoms are used properly), and what options are available to students who fall victim to any of the unfortunate situations. Resources are available. Dare I say, potential pregnancies couls easily be terminated using, dare I say it, the morning after pill, or and many treatments are available for the Syphilis and the Gonorrhea we could so easily contract, before our pubes broke out into those sores that were plastered all over the walls of the guidance counselor’s office.

I’m so tired of hearing people talk about how making condoms accessible will provide an incentive for having sex. Sex will take place with or without the condom; but that is not what we should be concerned about. We should be concerned about how an unwanted pregnancy will change the life of the teenage mother forever, and how contracting diseases puts EVERYONE in society at risk. I’d be happier knowing that everyone was having safe sex, than that a few were having unsafe sex, because diseases will come always come back to bite everyone in the ass. Unfortunately, the movers and shakers of education policy in Jamaica do not see eye-to-eye with me on this matter. They view Jamaican society through the lens of 1960’s nostalgia; the good old days when children were respectful of their parent, and sex was a sacred affair between two consenting adults who dedicated their lives to each other.

I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but the evangelical doctrine that sexual intercourse is primarily for procreation no longer holds sway. The good old days are long gone, and it is time we create policies that reflect that paradigm shift. I can imagine it is hard to let go of a belief so rooted in religious morality, but let’s get real. Sex is sex is pleasure is before marriage is pregnancy is AIDS is can be avoided is time is overdue is when will we act in the service of future generations.

I Am Your (Gay) Child

I have read with interests the diversity of perspectives on Earnest Smith’s incendiary claims that homosexuals are "abusive (and) violent", among other unsubstantiated declarations. His statements did not surprise me, as such ridiculous postulations are a commonplace in Jamaica. Again, another government MP’s has revealed himself for who he is: a bigoted, misinformed ignoramus who has no place in the parliament of a progressive democracy.

People often say of homosexuals: “we don’t want them here!” or “OutRage and other foreign gay right organizations cannot force their nastiness on our Christian nation!” What many of these people fail to see however, is that there are many homosexuals here in Jamaica, though you wouldn’t know any, because you threaten to kill whichever one is “brazen” enough to profess their sexuality. While I understand that most people do not support homosexuality, it is important for people to develop the understanding that as citizens of Jamaica, homosexuals deserve to be treated as such- that is, guaranteed protection under the law. Today, they are treated like second class citizens, whose opinions are invalidated because the majority disagrees with the gender of the individual they choose to love.

How brazen they have become, yes. Brazen because they are tired of living lives shrouded in secrecy and shame; tired of fearing that they may lose their lives, when one day, someone shouts out, “a fish dat”; tired of being silenced by puritanical evangelists who fail to recognize the diversity of moral perspectives present in our society . We must stop dictating morality to people, for few of us who lambast homosexuals are paragons of virtue and holiness. If you think homosexuality is immoral, then I would hope that you never engage in homoerotic activity; but how callous, and unchristianlike you are in your violent efforts to conform ‘moral deviants’.

I was nurtured in your womb, and am now working to positively contribute to the development of our nation. I am a Jamaican. I am your child...but you wish me dead.